Daddy's Girl

Assalamualaikum,

Hari ini, 30 November 2007 bersamaan 20 Zulkaedah 1428H, ayahanda tercinta saya; Haji Shahuddin bin Hj Mohd Tasit telah menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya pada jam 6.00pagi.

Apak, you are too special for me. Too quick, you leaved me. You go into another life which is hard for me to accept. Apak, I would never find someone as special as you. Apak, that I know for 32 years, tak pernah sekali pun tinggikan suara. Not even once! Percayalah.Apak...you are too special for all of us..Tak pernah lagi, Ina jumpa orang, and takde org yang tak pernah kata.."bapak kamu ni terlalu baik orang nya.." "terlalu penyabar".."Hj Din ni sebaik baik manusia.."

Apak, the last time I met you was on November 1st, 2007. (Exactly 30 days apak...)I hugged u really hard.."Apak, take a good care of yourself, jaga kesihatan". Heard you sobbed, but I ignored it. I have to be strong, Apak. I want you to be even stronger than me. Apak, I know that we really closed...

Apak, you are everything to me. First time Ina bejot, Ina telefon apak.."Dah besar anak apak". Masa Ina dapat offer pergi US, we both cried together..apak kata apak takut tak sempat tengok Ina balik..Then masa Ina nak nikah dengan Pejol, Ina telefon apak and you said.."Do it if you feel it is best for you, I will always bless u".

Masa dapat Nurin, Apak came with Mak and Along to US to meet their first and lovely grand daughther. Nurin call you ATOK. Nurin really loves his Atok. Atok took her jalan-jalan naik stroller along Chicago Downtown. Atok and Opah bawak Nurin jalan tepi Lake Michigan.

In the year 2003, Ina, Pejol, Nurin and Zarief pergi Manchester. Apak as usual, akan sentiasa menangis bila berjauhan. Apak, you always have your soft spot. Almost everyday, Ina telefon mak and apak from Manchester.

Bila balik Malaysia, Apak and Mak cukup suka, sebab boleh main-main dengan cucunya, Nurin and Zarief. A year later, ada baby, Zaidan. Zaidan cukup manja dengan Atok.

Apak, kalau Apak masih ada, I would like to tell you, setiap baris yang Ina type ni, Ina sebak. I really really love you Apak. I couldnt recall any moment or anyone ada masalah dengan Apak. Semua cucu-cucu Apak, sangat sayang dengan Atok. Nurin will always tell me, "Mama, kakak sayang sangat dengan Atok".

Recently, on 1st August, Birthday Atok, all of us celebrate awal, sebab I went to Makkah untuk bertugas on that day. We had dinner at Chiang Rai Restaurant. The food was sumptuous. Nurin wrote a card for Atok.."For my dearest grandfather, Atok. Happy Birthday. Really love you, Nurin, Zarif and Zaidan" Nurin designed the card while Abang deco it with sticker. Atok was so happy and proud to have wonderful cucu.

This 2007, many new things that we practised for improvement especially during Ramadhan. Kita makan sikit dulu, then kita solat jemaah. Apak akan selalu jadi Imam. Pastu, if weekend Ramadhan, PENUH. Ada Along, Anyah, Pejol, Uda, Chik, Achu, Mior, ChuPam, Mak, Ina, Kak Ana, Wani, Nurin and Ika. Not to mention, little monsters, Zarief and Zaidan. Normally, masa bukak puasa, Abang (Zarief) akan makan cekodok while Jid akan naik horse kat Atok or Opah or any of his uncles sujud.

Apak, our memories together will never be erased. Clearly in my mind, myheart. Still remember your favourite, MILO or Hot CHOC that i will always serve bila apak datang rumah Ina. "Apak suka kalau Ina buat air, tak manis, tak tawar, just nice..". Your favourite CURRY, kalau mak masak kari ikan, apak akan makan banyak....Apak, we both really love fish. We both not in favor of Beef or Chicken. Apak suka air soya bean, tapi Ina tak minum. Cucu apak suka...Tapi apak, your benchmark that everyone will never forget is.. MAKAN BUAH LEPAS MAKAN NASI....Your menantu, Pejol and your cucu Nurin follow that.

Apak seorang yang PALING SETIA. Kalau mak suruh apak ambik cucu, dia sanggup keluar awal, tunggu Nurin kat sekolah. Hari-hari, Atok akan hantar and ambil Zarief. Zarief sayang, by next year 2008, no one can replace Atok, sayang....You need to take bus or van. Kalau Ina n Pejol terlambat and rush to office, Apak akan hantar both of us to LRT. Tak pernah sekali Ina dengar Apak merungut, instead, mesti apak cakap..."Ina, bila dah sampai, call me. I want to pick you up. Dont take taxi". No matter what, you would always wait for us..kengkadang Ina dah naik cab, sebab Ina ingat Apak tak tunggu. Maafkan Ina, apak.

Apak adalah seorang yang PALING TENANG.Apak juga tak pernah marah. Kalau mak bising2, apak akan terus senyap. Paling tidak, Apak pergi masjid or baca Quran untuk tenangkan fikiran.Apak tak pernah panic. The coolest person ever ever ever that anyone has ever met!!

Apak adalah seorang PENDENGAR YANG PALING BAIK. Yes apak, you are the greatest listener. Kalau ada cerita, or any news, we both will discuss about it, intellectually. Kita bincang.Kalau Ina ada masalah, you will always lend me your ears. You dont say much, tapi cukup sekadar mendengar. Paling tidak you will rubbed at my back. I love you, Apak!

Apak is my WALKING DICTIONARY, as well as Nurin's. He is extreme superb in English. Your vocab is excellent, apak!

Apak is my best friend, my IDOL. I really miss you Apak. I dont know how to go through my life here in Tanah Suci alone. Apak, setiap masa, Ina akan cuba baca walau sebaris ayat Quran untuk Apak. Ina terlalu sayangkan Apak. I'm helpless Apak. Ina redha dengan pemergian Apak. Ina tahu, Ina yakin, insyaAllah Apak akan di tempatkan di kalangan orang yang beriman.

Ina tak menyesal Apak. I showed you the love that I have to you. I always hug you. I do said, Ina sayang Apak. Ina memang ambil berat tentang Apak. Cuma Ina ralat Apak, rumah Ina dekat Gombak, Apak tak sempat tengok.Apak dah ambik kunci tu from Pejol before he off to KK. Rumah yang Ina n Pejol plan to built at Kemensah lagi Ina ralat, Apak.Design rumah kat Kemensah, I designed it to make sure ada bilik kat lower floor untuk mak and apak duduk. Ina dah bayangkan bilik mak and apak mengadap kolam dalam rumah. Ina tahu apak suka ikan. Jein cakap dengan Ina, malam sebelum Apak pergi selamanya, you stared at kolam ikan kat luar rumah. Really stared. You were alone.

Apak, if only, any angels can bring this message to you, please tell my dearest daddy, that I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR DADDY'S GIRL. I AM PROUD TO BE YOUR DAUGTHER.

Al Fatihah.

Love you endlessly,

Shaffina Shahuddin